1. What is the biggest takeaway you want people to get from reading your book?
I feel there are several messages that I would like my readers to recognize and/or learn from the book:
* One’s past life does not define his/her future life.
* Despite all odds against you, if you don’t quit, you can win.
* If you have experienced abuse and neglect in your childhood it can stop with you. There is no need to carry this tradition on to your children.
* When you do succeed and have accomplished success, do not forget who helped you. Honor your mentors by reaching out and helping someone that was like you were at the time, down and out on their luck. Continue to support the culture of being a “Giver-backer”.
2. What is your reasoning for writing this book? What did you hope to accomplish?
My goal was to show the poor and uneducated that they could also be successful. You really can “move mountains” and accomplish tasks and goals that very well could have been considered impossible. It can be an uphill battle but with hard work, faith and fortitude one can develop into a success. This takes just one step at a time and you will preserve and prosper.
3. Not everyone who experiences the same issues you did, come out as positively as you did. Why do you think you were able to survive and survive as well as you have?
If you are a quitter you will not dig out of the “rut” in which you found yourself experiencing. Vince Lombardi said: “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” I was very stubborn as a young child and always dreamed of being a proud success when I grew up. I was an optimistic opportunist as a young boy and at an early age I realized opportunities come far and few between from where I came from.
Now, at 65 years old I can count on one hand the real opportunities that have come around to me. Learn early on in life there are few real chances to make it big so when they do make themselves available, treat them special and do not squander them. You will only have a few so make the best of your good fortune and/or opportunity.
4. How have your daughters reacted to the book?
I have no contact with my daughters. My family is my wife, son and sister in law. I get all the love I need from these three people. I am sure they don’t even know about the book. As I mentioned in the book, I finally got to the point that chasing ones love gets very tiring after several decades of doing so.
5. Was the experience of writing this book cathartic? Why or why not?
At times there were more tears coming out of me than writing. But I stood fast and did not quit. The chapters about my brother and being estranged from my daughters were the toughest parts to write. The love for my brother and what happened to him was very hard to relive. The disappointment and pain endured with my daughters will always hurt. I truly believe the brainwashing that their selfish mother imposed on them at childhood actually worked. They were misdirected and still believe the lies.
6. Share the process you went through to write this book.
Once the decision was made that I was going to write, “I Remember the Time…” it had to be accurate and reflect the important experiences I had in my childhood. So I would sit and write down key factors in a single sentence that would trigger my memory back 60 years, then 55 years and so on. It was important that I got the sequences in the proper chronological order. It was easier to remember the last 45 years then the first 20 years of my life. Maybe I should say it was much more enjoyable to talk about success, love and happiness then all the pain in the first part of my life.
7. What advice do you have for children who are in abusive situations?
I can only advise from personal experience as I kid going through this trauma that it is wrong. You do not have to put up with the abuse or neglect. Children have rights as anyone else and there are people in your community that can help. You can reach out to your school, church, police or children’s charity organizations for help. My opinion is to not keep it to yourself but reach out for help. Someone will come to your aid.
What about adult survivors of abuse?
You are the one that can break the chain of abuse. Do not fall into the same pit as your parent(s) or provider. You of all people understand the damage and suffering that an abused child endures.
You are not measured today by your history. You can shed the negative blanket of child abuse that has impacted you for too much time. Break away from the stigma, as it is no reflection on you but rather the abuser. You can break away and be the winner, the abuser is the loser.
8. Were there any other stories you wanted to share that didn’t make it into the book? If so, share one with us.
If it was interesting I put it in the book.
9. Do you have any type of relationship with your father’s family and if so how do they feel about the book and the things you shared about your dad?
I have had no contact with my father’s family for several decades. The time I was around them as a kid was enough for me. I totally divorced my- self from all the pain and disappointment that I experienced from the entire clan. If any of them are hurt or upset by anything I described in my book then the old saying “The truth hurts” certainly would apply.
10. What next?
My next book is about giving back. The angels on earth who stooped down and picked me up are my hero’s. They have all passed but not their memory or the legacy they left on earth. To pay back my hero’s, I’d like to classify myself as a “giver backer”. My goal for my next book is on how to give back and help people who are in need.
Kim was born in Pacific Northwest in 1951. He was about 15 years old when his family moved out into the hills and mountains north of his hometown. He still resides in the Pacific NW with his wife and son. His hobbies are woodworking, fishing and watching football and baseball. Kim’s favorite pastime is spending time with his wife and son. His dogs, two female boxers, bring him much joy and entertainment. He’s a big-time animal lover and claims that his dogs taught him how to love. He also has a strong interest in inventing, patenting and marketing his products. He declares that his imagination and “out of the box” type thinking brings about many ideas. Kim's not one to sit around on an idea but puts it in action and his products now or marketed throughout the United States and Canada. At this stage of his life he has turned his attention and to authoring and publishing books on his past experiences and interests. He loves and gets high satisfaction on successfully developing one of his inventions or one of his books as they reveal his creative side.